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metalefa

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Whining

The moment you feel warm is just the cold pushing further

Created on 2006-01-14 17:15:33 (#9257620), last updated 2009-01-12

113 comments received, 274 comments posted

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139 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 3 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 6 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	metalefa
Location:	Türkü, Finland

Bio

This is not ready. 'Cause I'm lazy.
I don't know am I interesting or not.
There are many interesting things about
me, and the things I do interest many,
but I don't think that's enough to
make anybody interesting or
fascinating.
I often get distracted when people ask
me to tell something about myself. In
my opinion, you can't know anybody
intimately, or really know at all,
because we only have representations
of each other, based on how we act.
However, this isn't necessarily a bad
thing, because the way we act
tells a lot of what we are.

I'm an awfully jealous person.
I want and I want and I cherish,
but I know there are things I cannot
be or have and it makes me jealous.
What makes me bitter, is that I also know
there are things I would/could be entitled to
get, but i still don't have them.
I like to socialize, but I'm no good in
keeping up relationships when I don't have
a greater use for them. I take my
friends as something self-evident until
I remember them being able of
disappearing as well as I am.
I have an excellent sense
of how to act in and what to expect from
a social situation (yes, it's a term,
I should know) and I'm very much enjoying
that sense of mine, in both good and bad.
In this I base my ability to act
differently with different people and
by doing so, please them.
I'm a selfish person too, but I think
my age can be one of the extenuating
circumstances. I want people to know me,
and most of all, know me so well that they
like me or just know me that well
that they know I'm better than they are
in one thing at least.

But don't get this wrong,
I can actually be as nice as
I seem when we meet at the first time.

A great Finnish poet named
Saarikoski once said that
this language is his home
and I can't blame him.
A language is either a tool
or a home.
For me, English is the
first one and Finnish the
second. French and Swedish
are for fun and German
is my lover.

I write a lot, mostly in
Finnish, because I find it
natural and my English
tends to sound artificial.

The biggest love of my life
is music. Or was, until my
role-play character fell in
love. Oh what a world
(my parents gave me).

Watching and listening make
me happy, things that please
my eyes and ears.

A few years from now I'm
probably going to laugh
at most of the things I've
written, but I don't care,
because this is what I feel
now and what I'm going to
feel is another matter.
At least I hope so.